Warm Buns!

I believe in warm buns. Who doesn't love warm buns? Fresh from the oven warm hot cross buns, warm cinnamon buns. The smell wafting through the house. The smell of warm buns emanating through the house can be nostalgic, bringing back memories of mother's or grandmother's delicious baking. Some people even bake bread when trying to sell a home in the hopes that it will entice buyers. MMMM delicious warm buns. But alas this is not the kind of warm buns to which I am referring. I am a believer in warm buns, the kind I sit on every day, several times a day in fact.

At Christmastime, my husband asked what I wanted for a gift this year. I had commented that winter, on one occasion when I happened to be sitting on my buns, that a heated toilet seat would be nice. Although I don't recall having ever used one, the thought was very appealing especially in cold winter months when toilet sets can be  rather frigid. Well it just so happens that I received a heated toilet seat from dear hubby this year. I have never loved or used a gift so much! We all sit on our buns as mother nature calls, some more frequently than others. (I am of the frequent variety) Every time I use my gift I am pleasantly surprised at the warm and soothing sensation that greets me. It makes me want to linger a little longer and savor the moment. I may have been known to sneak in and sit a time or two when mother nature was nowhere near. I dread the times when mother nature calls and only an "anti-warm buns" seat is available. Upon sitting I am shocked, stunned and chilled. I want to jump up and scream in anguish "What kind of dirty trick is this?! Bring back my warm buns!"

I believe a man invented the non heated toilet seat as he does not need to sit nearly as often as a woman. Women sit 100% of the time on their buns whereas men rarely need to sit at all. I say psssh to the issue of leaving the toilet seat up, there is a much bigger issue at hand. Most women have never had the luxury of a heated toilet seat and do not know what a necessity it is. Once you have tried a warmed seat you will never return to such a barbaric life without one. I think that congress should pass a bill to ban all  non heated toilet seats, except for use as torture devices or perhaps as a ploy to get criminals to confess.

I have grown quite accustomed to my nice inviting heated seat. I will never understand why every john, can, loo, throne, commode,and lavatory do not have warmth. Many cars seats are heated and you have a layer or two of fabric between you and your precious sensitive skin. We use heated baby wipes on our babies! Do we not deserve the same warm buns?! My buns are just as precious as a babies bottom.  Lets take a stand and demand more warm buns! Until then, mother nature calls and unlike you, I have  nice warm throne awaiting my arrival. Wishing you all a good day and warm buns.