dimplesndillpickles: Kindergarten to College and 5 minutes between

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. She was so excited. Doning her new backpack, she looked and felt so big.We stood on the sidewalk waiting for the bus to pull up to the curb in front of our house. She was so excited to ride the bus and go to the big kids school. I was nervous and anxious for her. I couldn't believe that my baby girl was off to kindergarten already! I was excited for her too. She was growing up so fast. After she got on the bus and it drove away, I went inside the house and sobbed. Tori was off to kindergarten. No mom is ever really ready for this day.

We loaded her belongings into our Pilot and her little red Dodge Avenger. We followed her to the gas station and chuckled at her inexperience as we watched her fill her car with gas. She had so much to learn, so much more growing up to do. We knew it was time for her to be on her own. We were so excited for her new opportunities and experiences. We continued on to Cedar City following her the whole way. We helped her get settled into her new apartment, bought her groceries and a new phone. We hugged her and kissed her goodbye. "Good-bye sweet baby girl" I said hugging her and kissing her forehead. We climbed into the car and waved as we drove away. We had been so anxious for this day to come, so why was I so sad? It was a stormy, rainy August night. I cried almost in unison with the rain drops that fell onto the windshield. I couldn't believe this day had come. I didn't feel ready to not have her live in the same house with me as she had for the past 18 years. I didn't feel ready to not see her everyday even if only for a brief moment, I didn't feel ready to not know how her day was or how she was feeling or to not hear her whistle to her bird or squeal a hello to Spice. I just didn't feel ready.

How can life go by so fast? She went to kindergarten and 5 minutes later she was off to college. Or so it seemed. I knew it was time to let her go, but it didn't make it any easier. She has only been gone for 6 days, but things are not the same without her. The house is so much quieter and a little more lonely and empty feeling. It will definitely be an adjustment. I think about her everyday and wonder how and what she is doing. Even as I type this I have to steal away to the bathroom to cry some more.

As mothers we spend every day nurturing our children. Day after day, year after year. Then one day all too soon they leave the nest and go venture out into the big world, not unlike a 5 year old venturing onto the big yellow school bus. I am not sure if we are ever prepared and I am not sure if this is a blessing or a torture. Maybe it is a little of both.